4: Perspectiva

camino enredado

No hay nada como un par de malas semanas para recuperar alguna perspectiva sobre la vida. Y es increíble como una buena racha puede hacer que perdamos la perspectiva por completo.

Yo he notado algunas tendencias en mi vida que se repiten y repiten como ciclos. Una es que cuando me ha tocado fajarme por conseguir los recursos necesarios para el mantenimiento mío y de mi familia, las ganas de cambiar el mundo se reducen bastante, incluso desaparecen. Pero en cuanto esa sobrevivencia está segura, salen de nuevo, y mientras más seguro me sienta más fuerza toman. Yo lo considero interesante pues contrasta con lo que veo en muchas de las personas que me rodean. En ellas el espíritu emprendedor sale cuando están necesitados y se apaga en el momento en el que esa necesidad se llena. Esas personas son por lo general muy responsables en un empleo, pero les cuesta mucho darle la misma seriedad y dedicación a un emprendimiento personal. Nada malo en eso, no estoy juzgando ni diciendo que una es mejor que otra. Solo estoy observando.

La otra tendencia es que cuando las cosas están tranquilas mi ego toma fuerza. Cuando las cosas dejan de estar tranquilas mi lado espiritual sale a flote. Tal vez sea un mecanismo de defensa, así como otras personas rezan o van a la iglesia, pero estoy comenzando a entender (de verdad entender, con todo el cuerpo, no solo intelectualmente), que esas temporadas agitadas me permiten reconectarme con lo más importante, y eso las vuelve muy valiosas. Yo se que el mundo esta lleno de frases motivacionales que dicen que lo malo pasa por una razón o que no hay mal que por bien no venga, pero esto que escribo aquí va mucho mas allá de eso. No es una creencia o algo que me ayuda a mantenerme motivado. Es algo más íntimo, más profundo. Es el amanecer en mi conciencia de la certeza de que no hay nada malo en realidad, y que lo que interpretamos como “malo” es solo algo que se aleja de nuestros planes y del apego que sentimos por ellos. Y, aun así, sigo creyendo que tenemos que planificar, tenemos que construir mentalmente la vida que creemos merecer, y tenemos que trabajar proactivamente y con constancia para construirla. Si entendemos que no hay una línea recta a esa vida ideal sino un camino lleno de curvas será más fácil disfrutar ese camino, aunque a veces parezca que vamos en la dirección contraria a la que deseamos. Esta es la dimensión practica de la vida, y es la más sencilla.

También estoy comenzando a descubrir una dimensión mágica de la vida, oculta e inmune a cualquier intento practico por influenciarla. Esta dimensión es contraintuitiva y las relaciones de acción y reacción a las que estamos acostumbrados en la dimensión práctica, o no se aplican del todo o se aplican de una forma diferente. Mi intuición me dice que es aquí donde nosotros mismos definimos el destino final al que queremos llegar, y el truco está en aprender a como platicar con esta parte de nuestra existencia para poder alinear lo práctico y lo mágico. Si la vida es un baile, es uno que se baila entre dos: lo práctico y lo mágico, lo visible y lo invisible. Yo soy muy malo bailando, pero algo me dice que si quiero llegar a donde quiero, voy a tener que aprender al menos un par de pasos de esta danza.

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