Este año marcó dos momentos importantes en la vida de mis hijos. Mi hijo mayor cumplió 18, y con eso alcanzó la mayoría de edad, y aunque hay una zona gris hasta los 21, para muchas actividades cotidianas ya es un adulto. Por otro lado, mi hija cumplió 15 años, que en la cultura latinoamericana marca el fin oficial de su niñez.
El tiempo en realidad vuela. A mí me parece que hace unas semanas nacieron, y recuerdo muy bien ese primer año, que para ser honesto, no disfruté tanto como la gente me decía que lo iba a disfrutar, pues estuvo lleno de desvelos para comidas en la madrugada, vacunaciones y carreras al doctor en horas y días raros, pues mis retoños escogían casi siempre enfermarse, o en la madrugada de los días de semana, o en medio del fin de semana cuando los doctores de cabecera no estaban fácilmente disponibles.
A pesar de todos esos eventos, no deja de asombrarme como en solamente un año pasaron de ser unos “bojotillos” que no hacían mucho más que procesar alimentos, a ser unas personitas caminando y gritando por toda la casa, con una personalidad característica y sus gustos y disgustos propios.
Pasaron solo unos días más y tuvimos que llevarlos a la escuela. Uniformes, útiles escolares, trabajos manuales no muy agraciados que aún así eran joyas muy valiosas para nosotros, y por supuesto, el ridículo de rigor con amigos y familiares cuando explicábamos con convicción y firmeza las razones “objetivas” por la que nuestros hijos eran superiores al promedio en todo lo que hacían. De esos años confieso que no disfrute tanto los cumpleaños llenos de otros niños generando caos, en parte supongo debido a las cantidades extraordinarias de azúcar que consumían en esas fiestas.
Y así llegaron los primeros amigos, las primeras graduaciones y les juro que una noche se acostaron niños y al día siguiente se levantaron adolescentes. La velocidad con que mi opinión pasó de ser ley universal a ser solo eso, una opinión, aún me asusta, y esa fue la primera prueba objetiva de que estábamos haciendo un trabajo al menos aceptable como padres, pues en mi mundo la responsabilidad de nosotros es formar libres pensadores que no tengan miedo de cuestionar el status quo, y no solo repetidores y seguidores.
Esa misma mañana en que mi hijo se levantó adolescente, aprendió a manejar automóvil, y para mediodía ahí iba yo de pasajero en mi propio carro. Desde ese tiempo hasta hoy he podido ser testigo de cómo, poco a poco, se va sintiendo más cómodo controlando el timón del auto y el de su vida, y esa ha sido una de las mejores experiencias que como padre he tenido hasta ahora. La facilidad natural con que puede ser firme en una opinión, pero gentil y empático con el mundo que lo rodea, es tan escasa en este planeta en este momento que vale más que su peso en bitcoins.
Mi hija, tres años más joven, va unos pasitos atrás. Poco queda ya de aquella cachetona colocha con unos ojotes que le cubrían la mitad de la cara, y su personalidad fuerte, muy fuerte a veces para la gente “normal”, parece indicar que vivirá su vida en sus propios términos, lo cual es también escaso y valioso en extremo, sobre todo para una mujer.
Para el trabajo de padre no hay más escuela que la vida y ella me ha venido enseñando la importancia de reconocer que cada etapa en el crecimiento de nuestros hijos es diferente, y el “éxito” que se logre en cada una (¡lo que sea que eso signifique!), dependerá de que tan bien podamos ajustar nuestro accionar a cada nuevo nivel. El fruto final de nuestro papel de padre no es cumplir a través de ellos nuestros sueños rotos, tampoco es convertirlos en medallas para poder presumir ante familia y amigos. Al final del día nuestro papel es mucho menos glamoroso. En última instancia se reduce a convertirnos gradualmente en innecesarios, siempre a la orden para ayudar, pero no indispensables para que ellos avancen por su propio camino, impulsados por sus propios sueños y de acuerdo a sus propias maneras. Esa, al menos para mí, será la única forma de evaluarme al final de este viaje. Ahí les cuento después como nos va.
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