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40: El abuelo Meme

 

Mi abuelo Meme no fue un hombre muy exitoso bajo prácticamente ningún estándar. No hizo mucho dinero, tampoco fue famoso y nunca llegó a ocupar alguna posición de poder público o privado. Cometió muchísimos errores, despreció e irrespetó el futuro constantemente, nunca tuvo mucho cariño por la planificación y no recuerdo que en realidad se esforzara mucho por algo alguna vez en su vida.

Y sin embargo puedo decir con confianza que fue uno de los hombres que más ha influido en mi vida, a pesar de que hoy me enorgullezco de ser casi el exacto opuesto a todo eso que acabo de decir para describirlo.

Siempre me miró como su hijo menor en lugar de su nieto. Siempre me demostró abiertamente cuanto me quería, no con caricias o palabras, pero con hechos irrefutables, un día tras otro durante las décadas que convivimos, y fue esa actitud de amor realmente incondicional, a pesar de mis malcriadezas, a pesar de mis rebeldías, a pesar de hacer las cosas que me pedían o de ignorarlas olímpicamente, a pesar de ignorar constantemente su autoridad, la que me instiló un sentimiento de merecer ser aceptado exactamente como soy, de no tener que cambiar a menos que yo así lo estimara necesario, en fin, le dio un levantón a mi autoestima que aun hoy, cuando me tiro de cabeza para conseguir algo sin que el miedo me detenga, es a él a quien en secreto agradezco, pues fue él quien sin haber nunca perseguido nada en serio, me enseñó como perseguir algo, fue él quien sin nunca aspirar más que a cosas sencillas, me reveló mi derecho a aspirar por las cosas más grandes que este mundo puede ofrecer, fue él quien a pesar de no haber logrado casi nada en su vida, me demostró que valgo suficiente como para lograrlo todo.

Nunca he visto a alguien tan mal encarado que cayera tan bien como él lo hacía. Nunca he conocido a alguien que aguantara tan poco de los demás y al mismo tiempo fuera percibido como alguien tan querido por todos. Nuca he visto a alguien haber hecho tan poco en su vida mientras era al mismo tiempo tan inspirador para ir a perseguir las estrellas.

Aprendió inglés él solo y andaba constantemente buscando opciones para practicarlo. Aprendió unas pocas poesías y cualquier excusa era buena para declamarlas. El apasionado del boxeo más pacífico que alguna vez ha existido era tan sincero y vivía con tan pocos filtros que nunca podía contar un chiste sin empezar a morirse de la risa desde la mitad del cuento. Madrugador empedernido, ex militar, alcohólico desde muy joven y hasta el día de su muerte, siempre de mi lado en cualquier discusión, independientemente de si tuviera o no la razón, y más bien creo que especialmente cuando no la tenía.

En los años 80 iban de viaje a EEUU a visitar a su hija y regresaban con 50 o 60 dólares en discos de mi música predilecta. Tuvieron que pasar décadas para que yo me diera cuenta de que con esfuerzo habían logrado ajustar 80 dólares para ese viaje y todavía me da frío pensar lo fácil que decidían gastarlo prácticamente todo en mi a cambio de absolutamente ningún reconocimiento o agradecimiento importante de mi parte.

Cuando se retiró de su trabajo le dieron una pensión de 300 Lempiras al mes que era en aquel entonces el equivalente a 6 combos número uno de Burger King, de los cuales gastaba religiosamente dos cada vez que le pagaban, pues ese día me llevaba a comer a ese lugar que era la gran novedad en la ciudad y al cual por supuesto no tenía acceso en un día cualquiera.

Él me compró mi primer par de Reebok, él me ajustaba la mesada para que pudiera comprarme unos tacos de Adonis de vez en cuando, él me enseñó que manejar un carro no es cómo manejar un barco pues hay que estar alerta cada segundo, él inventaba cualquier excusa cuando yo metía la pata para que mi viejo, miles de veces más estricto, no me castigara. Él me enseñó que cuando se quiere de verdad se quiere de verdad, y punto, sin que existiera absolutamente nada que yo pudiera hacer para cambiar eso.

Esa es la verdadera razón por la que cuando muchos años después nació mi hijo y pude sentir por primera vez ese amor incondicional, no tuve más remedio que llamarlo Manuel como él.

En estos días sobra quien nos trate de enseñar cómo planificar para llegar a las metas, sobra quien nos motive a perseguir nuestros sueños, abundan los coaches de desempeño y los líderes que nos motivan a dar lo mejor de nosotros. Y eso está muy bien.

Pero desde el fondo de mi corazón les deseo a todos que la vida los premie con un abuelo Meme que les muestre como ustedes valen infinito, así como son, y que, si quieren correr tras sus sueños o quedarse sentados disfrutando un atardecer, ese valor no disminuye o aumenta ni un poquito. Aun hoy, décadas después de su partida, aquí sigo usando sus lecciones cada día y me sentiré muy exitoso si logro pasar, aunque sea unas pocas de ellas, a las siguientes generaciones.

No sé cómo es la vida del más allá, pero me lo imagino sentado en una silla, esperando que empiece una pelea de boxeo, disfrutando de un traguito sin tener que esconderse de mi abuela o sin tener que seguir haciéndolo hasta desmayarse, intentando contar un chiste mientras es constantemente interrumpido por sus propias carcajadas, y silbando “over the rainbow” o cantando “farolito” en los anuncios. Esa es la mejor versión de su paraíso que me puedo imaginar y espero algún día poder pasar por ahí diciendo hola. Ese va a ser un buen día.

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406 thoughts on “40: El abuelo Meme”

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